Fall For Me
by ThnksFrThMmrs87
Summary: A taste is never enough, and all too often it only makes it worse. Emily knows that a single taste is all she'll ever get; but that can't stop her from wanting more.
1. Chapter 1

Note From The Author-- I had originally intended this as a one shot, but my brain just kept working, so now it will probably end up being a few chapters long. I hope everyone enjoys it.

Disclaimer-- I don't own the characters of Criminal Minds, but I am giving myself this story as a birthday gift a day late because I so wish that I would have gotten a half naked Aaron Hotchner as a gift :)

Generally speaking, Emily Prentiss was a planner. She tried to map things out if she could, not necessarily in an attempt to control everything, but to at least have an idea of what was coming her way. But no amount of planning could have prepared her for falling for her boss. From the very beginning she had been attracted to Hotch, even when he had basically tossed her out of his office on to her butt. She also swore from the very beginning that nothing would ever come of it, mostly because she knew it was unlikely anything ever could.

For a long time Emily had managed to keep that promise to herself. Even when Hotch and Haley had broken things off she had managed to keep her hands to herself, even as she and Aaron had gotten closer as friends and colleagues. Unfortunately for her a long time wasn't forever, and one moment in one case sent her carefully constructed walls crashing to the ground and changed the very fabric of her world. Getting shot tended to do that.

It was so completely stupid that she wanted to kick herself for it. A split second decision and Reid and Morgan's entirely vulnerable position sent her left instead of right and into the path of a bullet. It only grazed her arm, but the lack of a penetrating wound didn't make it hurt any less. It also didn't stop the concussion that came along with her head cracking against the cement.

Either way, the unsub got away from them and the others surrounded her in a flash as soon as they realized there was no chance of catching up with him. Hotch knelt at her head, and when she looked up into his eyes and saw the wealth of emotions there she wasn't sure if it would be wiser to throw herself into his arms or run like hell in the opposite direction.

In the end Emily didn't have a whole hell of a lot of choice as to her course of action. Despite her protests she was loaded into the ambulance with Dave and Morgan watching over her as Hotch took a phone call trying to calm and reassure the deadly combination of a very frantic Garcia and a very frantic and very pregnant JJ back at Quantico. Then he and Reid showed up at the hospital once they had managed to talk the pair of them down, and as hard as Emily tried she was told by her doctors and every one of her colleagues that she was stuck in a bed and a gown for a while.

They were still holding her captive, to her mind, when the team caught their unsub; that part pissed her off no end. She had wanted nothing more than to cuff the stupid bastard who had gotten away with shooting her, but obviously the cosmos weren't even going to give her that little bit of karmic pleasure. So she just gritted her teeth and congratulated the team then silently stewed when Derek came to fetch her because Hotch preferred that she not drive herself.

Due to some minor issue the plane wouldn't be taking off until the next afternoon, so Emily resigned herself to stowing her frustration and went to dinner with Dave, Morgan and Reid. Then Spencer had missed the warning look from Derek and told Emily that Hotch had mentioned her possibly staying out of the field for a while and she had tumbled over the edge. She was out of her chair in the hotel's restaurant and to the elevator so fast that none of the boys were even sure when she had moved.

Emily hit Hotch's door with every intention of bitching him out so hard that his mother would feel it and wince at the language, and she knocked as hard as she could on his door. Then he jerked the door open with a frustrated 'what?' and suddenly all of her frustrations shifted. Evidently her hormones were much more powerful than her anger when faced with a very wet and very shirtless Aaron Hotchner. It seemed that her brain had completely forgotten how to process the English language; all she could register was the staccato beat of her heart and the way her skin had suddenly gone hot like a flash fire.

Aaron had watched the way her eyes went dark and blind and her chest heaved as she struggled to catch her breath, and there was no doubt in his mind what she was thinking about; though it surprised him that they seemed to be thinking exactly the same thing.

For a moment they just stood there in some sort of a bizarre Mexican standoff, staring each other down as their systems raged out of control. Then Emily took a small step forward, barely big enough to move her at all, and they both lost control. Suddenly they were in the hotel room and he fumbled with the lock before turning to slam her against the wall. After that all either would really remember for a while was heated skin, torn clothing and primal release.

Emily woke the next morning with the sun shining in her eyes, which was funny considering that she distinctly remembered closing her curtains when she got back from the hospital. Then it hit her that she wasn't alone and her heart started beating a mile a minute. She looked over to find that Hotch was still deeply asleep, but they were so tangled together she wasn't sure she'd be able to get free without waking him. But panic was rising to rapidly match her out of control heartbeat and she knew she had to get out of there. It took some effort, but she managed to make it out of bed without shifting him or waking him up.

Minutes later she collapsed on her own hotel bed wearing what was left of her tank top and sweater and wondering just how the hell Hotch had managed to almost tear her pants into two pieces. Then as she rose to find something workable to wear it suddenly hit her that her bra and panties were still somewhere in Hotch's room. Emily's legs gave out from under her and she landed in an undignified heap in the room's only chair.

The full impact of what they had done hit her and once again her heart started beating wildly out of control. She had spent the night having crazy intense, earth shattering sex… with her boss; with her boss that she was completely and totally gone over and couldn't have. With her emotions running the spectrum from elation to devastation she was suddenly overcome by a flood of tears; she found that all she could do was curl into herself as tight as she could, and she wept until there was nothing left.

Hotch caught her arm as they came off the plane at home. She had known that they needed to talk, but she honestly wasn't sure if she was ready for it yet. Still there wasn't much choice, and they both agreed that although that night had been amazing, it had also been a mistake. It was unlikely anything could come of it considering the Bureau's policy on fraternization, so they agreed to take the one night and move on. The next day they tried to go back to the way things were, but to Emily everything felt hollow.

For a month after that night everything was horribly awkward. Hotch and Emily could barely exchange a word other than about cases. The rest of the team noticed, but it wasn't until their lack of interaction started to interfere with everyone else's work that they decided it was time to get to the bottom of things.

Emily fell right into an ambush. As she was walking through the bullpen one day Derek grabbed her arm, ignoring her protests, and handed her off to Garcia; the tech took a firm hold on her friend's hand and all but dragged her into her office. When they made it in Garcia sat Emily down in the chair and stood guard in front of the door with her arms crossed. "Spill Em."

For a moment she seriously considered lying, just pretending that nothing was wrong. But she knew that Penelope would see right through her if she tried. "I slept with Hotch," she blurted out.

The blonde's eyes went as wide as saucers. "You slept with Hotch?!"

"Well, you couldn't really call it sleeping with him; more like having ridiculously intense sex with him on every available surface."

For a moment Garcia's mouth just opened and closed without and accompanying sound. She really wasn't sure what to say. "Wow."

Emily rubbed at her temples. "Yeah, wow. It was absolutely mind blowing and I've wanted him for so damn long…" She trailed off for a moment before looking up with tears shining in her eyes. "Garcia, he's my boss."

"Sweetie I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing to do about it."

She shook her head, sitting down across from her friend and reaching out to take her hands. "You obviously really care about him," she told her.

"I'm an idiot whose let myself fall completely in love with him Pen."

"Then why don't you say something?" she questioned. "How do you know he doesn't feel the same?"

Prentiss wasn't used to feeling so helpless and she hated it. "And if he does? Garcia we could lose our jobs. How could I do that to him? How could I do that to myself?

Garcia had never seen her friend more vulnerable, and she wished there was something she could do for her. "There are ways you could make it work Em."

"I don't know what I want, not really, other than the obvious. I need to get away from here for a while. I need to see what happens when he's not always there."

Before Garcia could say a word Morgan burst into the room. "JJ's water broke."

What seemed like years later the entire team met gorgeous little Belle. She looked an awful lot like JJ, though it would be easier to see family resemblance once she got over the phase of being bald as a cue ball. Either way she was absolutely beautiful, and it didn't take long for the tiny baby to have every member of the team wrapped around her finger along with her mother and father.

Emily stayed just as long as the rest of the team did cooing over the baby and congratulating JJ and Will, but when everyone else went home she headed back to the office. The baby had provided the perfect distraction and the perfect opportunity to do what she'd been considering all week long. So when she made it back to the office she went straight to Strauss to make her case; she could only hope that she would be heard, and that it would help.

Hotch was the first in the next morning as he always was; but this time when he stepped off of the elevator and into the bullpen he immediately noticed a difference. There was a letter on every member of his team's desk. Cautiously he picked up Reid's and was momentarily relieved to find Emily's handwriting. But confusion came quickly on the heels of relief and he headed up to his office to find a letter of his own resting in the middle of his desk. Sitting down, he tore it open to read whatever it was that she had to say.

_Hotch,_

_I'm sorry to disappear this way, but I needed to get out of here and take some time to myself just to think. I'm also sorry for going to Strauss instead of you, but it seemed like the best idea at the time. I promise you I'm not leaving for good; I'll be back in a little over a month. I just can't be there right now. There are some things I need to sort out before I come home; hopefully I'll be able to. _

_Emily_

The next morning Emily looked out her window as the pilot announced that they were beginning their descent. This was her favorite part of the flight, when the plane sank low into the clouds and you were trapped in that blinding white world of ethereal beauty. For a moment it almost allowed her to forget the reason she was on the plane in the first place; almost anyway. Then they dipped lower, back into the real world, and it wasn't long before the wheels hit the ground. As the aircraft came to a stop the seatbelt sign went off and the pilot's voice rang through the cabin.

"We hope you've enjoyed your flight, thank you for flying with us and we hope that you have a lovely stay here in London."


	2. Chapter 2

Note From The Author-- Chapter two. Sorry it took so long. I used to have a life but my last semester in college ate it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer-- I don't own the characters

"How much longer can this keep going?" Derek asked.

Reid glanced up from his book and immediately followed the other agent's line of sight up to their boss' office. "I'm guessing about as long as it takes Emily to come back."

Derek shook his head. "I don't get it man. He's been weird ever since she left. Obviously there's something else going on."

"Why should that be? We all got the letters; we're all upset that she took off."

"Yeah, but not that upset." He spared another glance towards Hotch's office before he walked away. "I'm going to figure out what's up."

Garcia usually didn't mind the dry spells at the BAU; because BAU dry spells meant that she wasn't required to spend her days looking at blood pools and rape victims. Still she oddly found herself missing the business of their cases. With Emily across the pond trying to find peace and JJ on maternity leave Garcia was all too often bored to death. It wasn't that she wished for a serial killer to pop up, but some sort of activity would have been nice.

She should have known to be careful what she wished for. When Derek's voice calmly reverberated from behind her she knew she was in trouble.

"You know where she is."

Garcia slowly turned her chair so she could see him leaning casually in the doorway. "And if I do?"

"Baby Girl." His eyes were serious as he pushed off from the wall and walked into the room. "I'm worried about her.

"So am I, but there's a reason she left, Derek."

He pulled up a chair so they were eye to eye. "Can I make my case here?" he asked. There wasn't long to wait before she nodded and he continued. "Other than you, Emily is basically my best friend; and we both know that taking off this way isn't like her. I know something else is going on, and I know that it has to do with Hotch."

"I know you're worried gorgeous but everything that she told me was in confidence."

"I would never expect you to repeat any of it to me. All I want is to know how to get hold of her Garcia," Morgan almost pleaded.

Garcia sighed, torn between the worry she saw clearly written across Morgan's face and her sense of obligation towards Emily. "I'll tell you how to find her, but if you end up finding out what's going on with her it's going to be because she tells you," she said, pointing a finger at him.

Derek nodded. "Thank you Goddess."

In the little over two weeks since she'd left home Emily hadn't managed to resolve a damn thing. She was less stressed than she'd been in months and she hadn't gotten more sleep since before she started at the BAU; but try as she might she hadn't managed to fall out of love with her boss.

Nothing could beat the view of the city out of the picture window in her family's London flat; she sat in front of that window every morning with a cup of coffee and looked out at the city alternatively wishing she was back home with everyone she loved and wishing that she could stay away forever.

When the phone rang she expected her mother to be on the other line; not a lot of people had the flat's number. "Hello?"

"Hey Emily."

He was one of the last people she expected to hear from. "Derek?"

"Before you say anything else, Garcia gave me your number, but don't be mad at her. I talked it out of her because I was worried."

Emily sat back down by the window, sighing as she looked back over the city. "I'm not upset that she told you, but you don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."

Concern was evident in his voice when he spoke again. "Would you really have taken off if you were fine?"

"When did you start getting to the point that you knew me so well?" she questioned, resting her forehead against the cool glass of the window.

"Sometime after we discovered a mutual love of Vonnegut," he told her.

She couldn't help but laugh a little bit at that; then she saw the car sitting at the curb outside and her eyes widened somewhat comically. "Morgan you didn't."

There was a wave from inside the car as he spoke. "Yeah I did." At least he had the good sense to sound a bit sheepish. "And I brought Garcia."

"And this so wasn't my idea! I just gave him the phone number and the man found out exactly where you were behind my back!" Penelope called into the phone.

The tech's outburst made Emily laugh harder than she had in a long time. "Get out of the car and get in here then."

When they knocked she was already at the front door, and though her visitors were completely unexpected, she couldn't hold back the joy she felt when she saw them. It was only after hugs were shared all around that she leaned back to regard them with hands on hip. "What the hell brought you two here?"

Garcia and Morgan shared a quick look before turning back to their friend. "A woeful lack of serial killers in the Continental United States, frequent flier miles and lots of vacation time?" Garcia ventured.

"Concern," Derek provided.

"Well, that too."

Unable to keep herself from laughing again, Emily momentarily forgot why they were all standing there. "Seems like a good enough reason. Come on."

Hours later they had gone through a bottle of wine between the three of them and all of their sides hurt from laughing. "I wish you could have seen the look on Will's face when Reid starting spouting statistics about the number of diapers an average newborn goes through in the first year," Garcia told Emily. "It was hilarious."

"I wish I could have seen it too."

Derek knew there would never be a good time to change the subject, so he figured he may as well just go for it. "So why weren't you there to see it?" he asked.

The shift in the tone of conversation was so abrupt Emily was amazed she didn't get whiplash. Thinking carefully over her words, she set her wine glass down, insecurity showing in the way that she rubbed her hands over her jeans before she spoke. "I needed to get away Derek."

"Why, Em?" he questioned. "What happened?"

She shared a look with Garcia and shook her head. "It's complicated."

Morgan laughed a bit at that. "It's always complicated; all of us know that a little bit too well."

"True." She had to give that one to him. After taking a fortifying sip from her wine glass she decided to just tell him. He would only figure it out on his own if she didn't. "It's kind of hard to stop loving someone when you're around them all the time."

"Hotch," he said simply, nodding.

Emily's eyes went wide. "How…?"

Garcia had kept quiet up to that point but she leaned forward to pat her friend's hand reassuringly. "Don't question it, honey; the man knows all and sees all."

"Not all," Derek told them both. "But I'm good at my job."

She blew out a frustrated breath, her eyes narrowing. "Isn't there a rule about profiling your teammates?"

"Maybe," he told her with a grin. "But seriously Emily was leaving really the answer?"

"It was the only answer."

Garcia sighed. "Telling him is an option."

Pent up energy seemed to explode in her and Emily found herself up on her feet and pacing. "We talked about it Garcia. I could tell him, but where the hell could it go? He's…"

"Your boss," Morgan finished for her.

"Exactly." She shook her head. "I won't ask him to put himself on the line for me, and I'm not sure if I could do it for him."

"If he wasn't that important you wouldn't be here sweetie," Garcia said quietly.

Emily nodded. "Maybe you're right, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"Even if he felt the same?" Derek asked.

She finally managed to stop moving, turning to look him in the eye. "The BAU means everything to him. I won't ask him to put himself in the line of fire with a fraternization issue. Besides, it's a moot point. He and I have had the discussion, and it's not going anywhere."

When Emily turned and walked into the kitchen Morgan shot a questioning look at Garcia, but she only shook her head. "Not my place, gorgeous."

Before he could say any more Prentiss was back in the room and the conversation was over. "Look guys, you're only here for a few days. Let's just have a good time while we can."

There wasn't much else Derek and Penelope could do other than agree.

They headed back to Quantico three days later and Emily drove them to the airport regretfully. She wished she was going home with them, wished they were staying; mostly she just wished that things were simpler again.

She hugged them both outside the security checkpoint, feeling conflicted. "You're coming home soon?" Garcia asked.

Emily nodded. "Soon."

"And how soon is soon?"

She laughed. "I'll be here a couple more weeks at the most." She squeezed Garcia's hand before releasing it. "There are a few more things I need to work through."

"Emily, you can't make yourself fall out of love with him," Morgan told her.

It seemed that the tears in her eyes couldn't be held back, so she just let them come. "I know that now, but I can figure out a way to live with it."

"There are better ways," he commented.

"Probably. This is all I know how to do Derek." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before stepping back. "You guys are already late. Give JJ and Belle a kiss for me and I'll see everyone soon."

They had turned away and started towards security when it occurred to Garcia and she turned back around. "Emily, what do we tell Hotch?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

With Garcia and Morgan safe on a plane home Emily couldn't seem to bring herself to return to her empty flat. Instead she ran every errand she could possibly think of. After running all over the city for three hours she ran out of things to do and decided it really was time to head back.

It took her another half an hour to get home, and another twenty minutes after that to put away everything she had brought home with her. Refusing to let herself feel the emptiness, she spent the next two hours cleaning the flat from top to bottom. When she was finished there wasn't a damn thing left for her to do, and after three days of laughter it suddenly struck her how completely alone she was in London. With her heart aching and everyone she loved thousands of miles away, she sank onto the window seat to look out at her gorgeous view of the London skyline in the fading light and gave herself over to the heart wrenching sobs she couldn't hold back.


	3. Chapter 3

Rossi leaned in Hotch's doorway and watched him for a moment before he went in. The circles under Aaron's eyes got worse every day, and as serious as the man always was, his countenance has become downright grave. Hotch was obviously completely and utterly miserable; and Dave thought he had a pretty good idea why.

"Something on your mind?" he asked as he stepped into the room.

Hotch looked up from his desk with a sigh. "Plenty."

"Funny," Rossi commented as he took a seat on the other side of the desk. "I didn't know 'plenty' had great big eyes and dark hair."

He was on the verge of either ignoring or denying the comment, but he knew that with Dave it would be of no use; he would figure it out eventually either way. "I'm worried about her."

"Emily's a big girl, Hotch. I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

"I'm still worried." He scrubbed his hands over his face, a gesture of obvious frustration that Dave was unaccustomed to seeing from the stoic man.

Leaning back in his chair, he decided to play Dr. Phil. "As worried as you are, I'm guessing you know something about why she left that the rest of us don't."

"You're too good at that," Hotch commented.

Rossi held his hands up. "What can I say, it's a gift. Want to talk about it?"

He glanced over to make sure that the door was closed. "That case not too long ago, when that bullet grazed Emily…"

"The one when she stormed out of the restaurant to give you a piece of her mind."

Hotch couldn't help but wince a bit. "We both gave each other a whole hell of a lot more that night."

It didn't take a lot to understand exactly what he was trying to say; and suddenly the light began to shine through. "You're worried what happened between the two of you had something to do with her taking off."

"I'm worried it has everything to do with it. After that night we talked and decided not to take it anywhere. I guess we both figured it was a mistake and we decided to just move on."

"So basically you decided that it didn't mean anything," Dave told him.

Hotch was on the verge of denying it, then it hit him. "Damn it, that's exactly what I did." He couldn't believe the thought hadn't crossed his mind. "Not only that, I basically told her that she didn't matter."

Rossi watched the emotions play across his friend's face and knew he couldn't just leave it at that. "She's it isn't she?"

"I don't know, Dave, maybe. I wanted her for a long time before she showed up in my room that night. Other than that." He shrugged, looking uncomfortably helpless. "I don't know."

"Well I'd say you need to talk to her."

Aaron shook his head. "I've tried. She's turned off her phone; and I know that Morgan and Garcia have seen her, but they're not saying a word about where she is."

He stood. "Well, I guess you'd need this then." A piece of paper dropped to the desk, and Hotch knew it had to be a phone number.

"How did you get it?"

"Morgan isn't the only one who knows how to get what he needs. Call her; see if you can work something out. Neither of you are doing any good living with being miserable."

Hotch stared at the paper for a good hour before he even contemplated doing anything. His mind was as usual running a million miles a minute, but cases had rather effectively been replaced by worry over one woman.

Ever since that one memorable night with her his mind had been reeling. They thought that forgetting about it was the best bet; after all they would be risking a lot if they went forward with a relationship. But Hotch was beginning to think they were risking a lot not beginning a relationship. It had been weeks, and not for a single second had he stopped wanting her; but more importantly he hadn't stopped missing her since he'd opened that letter the morning after JJ gave birth. He had never realized just how much her presence lifted his spirits, and without her in the bullpen something was just missing.

But just because he felt that way didn't mean that she did too. Obviously she had gone away for a reason. For a reason that seemed to have everything to do with him. What had happened between them had evidently changed the very fabric of their interactions, and all he could do was try to figure out if there was any way to salvage their relationship. Still torn, he dropped the paper into his drawer and decided to leave it there until he knew what he wanted.

Emily had less than a week before her plane took off to go back to the states, and much to her dismay, she still had no idea what she was supposed to do. Falling out of love with Hotch just hadn't happened; and the thought of going back to the BAU and spending every day with him again practically paralyzed her. She knew she wouldn't give up the BAU, so she would have to find some way to deal with the pain, but that didn't mean that it couldn't scare the hell out of her to think of it.

When the phone rang she picked it up without a second thought. Morgan and Garcia had been calling relatively frequently, and with her permission had given the number to JJ so she could check on the progress of baby Belle, so in the past week or she had gotten to the point where hearing the phone ring no longer made her jump out of her skin. "Hello."

"Hello Emily."

Hearing that voice for the first time in over a month almost made her legs come out from under her, and she sat down on the window seat before she had no other choice. "Hotch, I…" She took a deep breath. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you."

There was a pause, and she could picture him shaking his head half way around the world. "I couldn't decide if I should call. Rossi found the number and gave it to me, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to invade that way."

"Obviously you're sure now."

"Clearly. Emily, are you okay?"

She hated that her voice was just a little bit shaky when she spoke. "I suppose that would entirely depend on your definition of okay in this case," she told him quietly.

Hotch breathed a quiet sigh, trying to clear his thoughts. "What happened between us…?"

"We don't need to go there, Aaron. I think the decision has already been made on that matter."

"Has it?" he questioned. "Obviously it's not worked out. We could barely work with each other when you were here, and then you taking off like this…"

Emily didn't know what to say. "I had to get away. I couldn't just stay there being miserable all the time."

"If you were so miserable why didn't you come to me? Why not talk to me instead of just leaving with barely a word?"

She didn't want to go there, didn't see that she had a choice. "I needed to get away from you Aaron. It sounds horrible but it's the truth."

He wouldn't have lied and said that it didn't hurt to hear, but he wasn't about to say it out loud either. "I think I can understand that, but Emily you don't know what's been going through my head, the possibilities."

"Like what?" she questioned. "You were afraid I wouldn't come back? Maybe you were afraid that I was pregnant?" The silence on the other line told her everything she needed to know, and she felt her heart clench. "Oh my God," she whispered. "You thought I was pregnant."

"Emily."

She was up on her feet and pacing in a second, anger rapidly replacing hurt. "Do you honestly think so little of me?" she spat out. "Do you honestly think that I would find out that I was pregnant and leave without saying a word to you?"

"I didn't know what to think," Hotch told her, clearly trying to maintain his calm.

"But you thought you knew enough to assume that I would get pregnant and take off to make a decision without even consulting you? I'm not pregnant Hotch, but I can assure you that if I were you would have been the first person I spoke to."

Aaron found that he couldn't stop his anger from exploding then. "Damn it Emily, don't you get it? I hurt you; I basically told you that what happened between us was completely insignificant. I wouldn't have expected you to come to me with anything."

Emily collapsed back onto the window seat, feeling all of the adrenaline flood away, leaving her spent. "I would have come to you with that," she whispered.

"I know that now, and I can't believe I ever thought otherwise."

"Why did you call Hotch?" she asked, battling back the tears she'd become so accustomed to.

There wasn't any good way to deal with this situation. She was hurt, he was responsible and unsure, and nothing he said could make any of it easy. "When Dave gave me the phone number, I just stared at it for a long time. I didn't know what to do, and I decided that I would leave it in my desk until I figured out what I wanted. That's why I called."

"And what do you want?" she questioned, leaning her forehead against the cool glass of the window.

"I want you."

The words made every molecule in her body freeze, and she found that she had to remind herself to breathe. She'd wanted to hear those words for so long, wanting to have him there in her life for so damn long, and now she was completely paralyzed. "Aaron, I don't know what to say to you."

"Say you want me too. We both know it wouldn't be a lie."

Emily nodded, and the tears that she'd been holding back suddenly flooded out. "I want you too, but I don't know if it's that simple."

"It's never simple," he told her. "But it's something."

"It's something," she said. "It really is, but we can't just fall into something, Hotch. We fell into bed together and after we made the decision not to take it anywhere my heart and my soul bled until they were raw. I want this, more than anything, but if I've learned anything while I've been gone it's that I can't just…"

"I know, Emily," Hotch responded, his voice barely more than a whisper.

She stood again, brushing herself off literally and figuratively. "I've got to think about this, because we know that we work in bed, but we may not work anywhere else; and I have to know if we work everywhere else before I take a step. If I jump into something again and it doesn't end well I can't guarantee that I'll be able to put myself together one more time."

"I understand. When are you coming home?"

"A couple of days, and I'll be back to work a couple days after that."

The pause came again, and again he struggled to find the right thing to say. "I'll be waiting."

"I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Note From The Author—Okay, so obviously if you're current on the show this story is basically AU now. I'm still going to keep going with it, also obviously, but I thought I just let ya know : ) Enjoy

This time when Emily's plane sank into the clouds, she was filled with worry rather than peace. She hadn't spoken to Hotch since that last call, and she still didn't really know what to do with herself. All she really knew at this point was that she wanted him in her life, but there was a part of her that was absolutely terrified that they wouldn't work together outside of the bedroom.

Despite her fears, she was out of her seat the minute the seatbelt sign went off. Her carry on was out of the overhead compartment in a split second, and she was in the airport in minutes. Not sure who she was looking for, she glanced around; and when she saw JJ with little Belle in her arms she couldn't seem to hold back tears. She hurried over to them, wrapping them both in a careful hug.

JJ noticed the tears in Emily's eyes immediately after they pulled apart. "Are you okay?" she questioned, worried.

Emily nodded. "I'm okay, I'm just so happy to see you, and her." She held out her arms and JJ passed Belle to her with a smile. "God she's gorgeous."

"She is, isn't she?" she answered with pride. "Sometimes I still have a hard time believing she's mine." She ran a hand over the baby's hair before turning her attention back to her friend.

"You want to know what's really going on?" she ventured.

She nodded. "Em are you really okay, I mean honestly?"

Prentiss pushed a fall of dark hair from her face, breathing out a sigh. "Why don't we put the baby in the stroller, go find my luggage, and I'll tell you on the way home."

The car ride from the airport to Emily's was consumed by talk of everything that had happened between her and Hotch and the reasons she had been absent for so long. When they did make it back to her place, JJ was fully informed but still curious as to what their next move would be.

"So what now?" she asked, pushing Belle deftly with one hand and pulling a suitcase with the other.

Emily sighed. "Honestly, I don't know." She maneuvered her key into the lock and stepped in, reaching for the light. "I think we just…"

She went absolutely silent, and JJ's training kicked in as she automatically went for the weapon she didn't have on her. She called out, but not without cursing first. "Emily is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I scared you. Everything's just fine." Her voice was filled with wonder and surprise as she spoke.

The blonde hurried forward, bringing Belle and leaving the suitcase. There were words on her lips when she walked in, but she looked around and every coherent thought in her mind was replaced with, "Oh…My…God."

Every surface as far as the eye could see was covered in flowers. There were roses on the kitchen counter, stargazer lilies on the side table, daisies on the floor and Indian paintbrush in the windows. Emily's head spun as she took in the orchids, black-eyed Susans, tulips and birds of paradise that were populating her home. With her hand on her heart and tears in her eyes she moved towards the simple folded letter that sat in the midst of it all. Her hands were shaking when she opened it.

_Emily,_

_I'm not really fantastic with romantic gestures, but I wanted to do this for you, so I could show you some small measure of what I've been feeling; and before you get upset with your door man, I sweet talked the master key out of him after I showed him my credentials. He said he couldn't resist the thought of young love. I know you're worried, but I believe that there is a way to make this work, and I believe that we have more between us than just what happened in that hotel. When you're settled, I'd like to prove to you that we'll be good together. Let me know._

_Aaron_

Wordlessly, Emily passed the letter to JJ and walked through the apartment, her hands brushing over the rioting blooms. As she went, she felt conflicting emotions battering at her. Seeing everything he'd done for her only made her fall even more in love with him, but it still couldn't alleviate all her fears.

She was pulled from her thoughts by JJ's voice. "Okay, there's something sort of strange about knowing that my boss may very well be the sweetest man ever put on this planet."

Emily couldn't seem to hold back a laugh as she turned around. "He overwhelms me, and constantly amazes me."

"This is the real deal, Em." JJ laid a hand on her arm. "Don't let your fears take you over, because that man…" She found she had to brush a tear from her own eye. "You don't find that every day."

She nodded, hearing her voice shake with emotion when she next spoke. "I know."

Doing the job that she did, Emily had learned early on that life was very often surreal. Getting ready for a first date with your boss, whom you had already spent one incredibly passionate night with, definitely fell into the category of surreal.

Brushing her hands over her dress, she took a cleansing breath that did absolutely nothing to calm her rioting nerves. She slicked on lip gloss, spritzed on perfume, and just about jumped out of her skin when the doorbell rang. Shaking hands brushed again at her skirt before she took another deep breath and went to answer.

When she swung open the door she found Hotch leaning casually on the other side. For a moment they both took each other in, reveling in the fact that they were standing there together. Aaron took in Emily's dress casual attire, from the strappy sandals on her feet, over the floating black dress, up past magic apple red lips and up to those great big beautiful eyes of hers. "Hey," he said quietly.

It was amazing the emotions that could be conveyed by a single simple word, just as it was amazing how many feelings rose up in her just looking at him. In the Hotch version of casual, with his pressed slacks and slate grey button up, he looked like everything she wanted and more. "Hey."

They couldn't stop it, there was a pull between them that was completely undeniable, and no sooner was the word out of her mouth than his own mouth had descended upon hers. There was something frantic in the kiss, but underneath it something inherently tender; and when they pulled apart they stayed together, forehead against forehead.

Emily's eyes drifted slowly closed as his hands wiped the tears from her face, coming to rest there and brush sweetly against her skin. "I missed you," she whispered. "I didn't want to, but God I missed you."

"I missed you too."

She brought his mouth down to hers again, completely gentle this time. When she pulled away she slipped her hand into his. "Let's go."

It seemed as if the majority of Emily's worries slipped away as their night moved forward. They talked in the car about everything that had been going on while she was gone; it was only there that they felt a bit of tension. Still, talking about little Belle and Jack and the team smoothed things over relatively well.

They ate at a wonderful restaurant; a quaint little place that wasn't too dressy and yet wasn't too casual. They maintained conversation through their meal, laughing frequently over stories of Will and JJ discoveries of parenthood. After dinner, as hard as she tried, Emily couldn't talk herself out of the chocolate torte, and it was while they were waiting for their dessert that Hotch finally worked around to the tougher subjects they'd been skirting in some sort of tacit agreement.

"Did it help, going over there?" he asked quietly.

She folded her hands in her lap automatically, a diplomatic offense her mother had taught her as a tiny child; she was supposed to do it whenever she was having a hard time thinking of a tactful way of saying something. Hating that she still did those sorts of things by rote, she very deliberately rested her hands casually on the table. "It was what I needed." She told him. "Obviously you know the reasons I went. I wanted so badly to get over you."

"I'm glad you didn't," Aaron told her, a smile shining through.

Emily laughed. "I didn't think I would be, but I'm actually happy about it myself."

He knew there was more to say, but how the hell could he apologize for some of the things he had thought or wondered about her? Simply facing the fire seemed to be the best option. "Emily, I truly am sorry for what I said on the phone, or what I implied I suppose."

"I know," she told him. "Once I calmed down and thought about it I could understand where you were coming from. I guess I didn't really understand why you had such a strong reaction to it at the time."

"I was scared."

Her smile was just a bit wry. "You, scared?"

Hotch laughed. "Amazing, I know. What terrified me the most when I thought you might be pregnant, was that the reason you had left was because…"

"Because I wouldn't want your baby," she finished quietly. "Aaron we made such a mess of this whole situation."

"We did, but I know we both want to change that, and I'd like to think that tonight has gone a long way towards that."

She reached out to take his hand. "It really has. You're an excellent date Agent Hotchner."

"You're not so bad yourself Agent Prentiss."

They kept it short that night. The last thing that Hotch wanted was to overwhelm her, knowing she'd been put through the wringer in the way of emotions. It wasn't very late when they walked back into her building, and he wasn't surprised to find that a part of his brain was willing and ready to suggest that they continue the night. But he had already decided that it wasn't an option; at least it wasn't at that point.

When they made it to her door he pulled her gently into his arms to kiss her slowly and thoroughly. And when they pulled apart he spoke frankly. "I want you Emily."

A delighted little shiver ran up and down her spine when he said it. "I think it's already been pretty well established that I feel the same."

The laugh he let out was low and husky and made her shiver again. "But like you said, we already know that we work in that department." His hands came up to frame her face, and his eyes locked with hers. "I know that nothing is more important to you than knowing that we have something other than sex, it's the most important thing to me too. I want you in my life, and we're going to take this at your speed."

"You really are a remarkable man, Aaron Hotchner."

He kissed her sweetly and briefly before stepping back. "Goodnight Emily."

"Goodnight."


	5. Chapter 5

Emily had a week before she went back to work, and she spent four nights out of the seven with one Aaron Hotchner; every one of them being fantastic. They had gone to dinner again, and to a silly play at a local theatre that had made them both lighten up considerably. To top it off they had decided to be completely ridiculous and played a round of mini golf, and the last night before she was supposed to go back to work they had spent the night on her couch paying more attention to necking than to the movie they were supposed to be watching.

Whatever fears she'd had about them not being compatible had been completely alleviated; as it turned out they were fabulous together. Conversation flowed easily, they understood each others' work intimately, and when they disagreed on something they were both capable of passionately discussing either side of the argument without ending up bitter. There was something to be said for chemistry as well, and chemistry they had in spades; though Hotch hadn't reneged on his promise to move at Emily's speed. Actually, she almost wished that he would renege on that particular promise, but she wasn't sure if that would constitute moving too fast.

Either way, their time together had left her feeling relaxed and more than ready to return to the job. Though she knew how completely absurd many would have found it, Emily was eager to get back to work. She knew that JJ had a case that she'd been going over, and she would be happy to be dumped into a case rather than a bunch of desk work. Riding up in the elevator that morning she was almost bouncing with energy, and when she stepped off and into the bullpen she felt a huge smile spread on her face.

"Emily," Reid greeted her with a grin. "Welcome back."

The pair of them hugged briefly and when they pulled apart she found she was still smiling, and absolutely thrilled to see him. "I'm glad to be back."

Reid's smile fell a bit as he looked her over. "Are you okay, Emily? We were all worried when you took off."

"I can honestly say that I really am okay, Reid. I'm sorry I worried all of you, though."

Before either of them could say another word Derek's voice rang out behind then. "About time you got your ass back here," he teased.

Emily turned and moments later she was enveloped in a strong hug. "I know it took me a while to get here."

Morgan kept his hands on her arms when he pulled away, dark eyes watching her carefully. "You doing okay?"

"That seems to be the question everyone's asking lately," she said with a laugh. "Yes Derek, I'm really okay."

"Briefing in ten," Hotch's voice called out from above them.

Derek didn't miss the smile that passed between his two friends, and he looked at Emily with a curious smirk. "Care to share with the class, girl?" he asked.

She grinned. "Nope, see you in ten." And she was gone; halfway up to Rossi's office to say hello before he could catch her.

Something was clearly up, but he obviously wasn't going to find anything out in the near future. Still, he knew if he couldn't get it out of her Garcia would, and with a mischievous smile he decided it would be the perfect time to go inform his baby girl that there was a briefing in ten minutes.

Said briefing was a bit strange with JJ still out of the office, but it was quick and efficient as ever. Four teenage boys, all strong and healthy; all of them were athletic and by all accounts decent kids. And they had all been overpowered and carved into pieces with surprising ease and efficiency. After their deaths, pictures of their body parts had popped up on the internet on a macabre website urging the authorities to solve the case before there was more blood on their hands.

"Wheels up in twenty," Hotch told them when they were all informed. "Garcia, I want you with us on this one. This is a tech savvy UNSUB and I think it would be beneficial to have you on site."

"You got it sir."

Everyone began to clear out, and much to Garcia's chagrin, Emily got away from her. She actually managed to avoid both Penelope and Derek for the entire twenty minutes before they took off, and when they boarded the plane she planted herself firmly between Dave and Reid, therefore ending any thought either of them had of cornering her into telling them what was up.

Once they landed it was all business, and in the three days they were there none of them had time to do anything but work, eat, and sleep when they infrequently got the chance. All things considered it was as easy of a case as they ever got handed; a twenty something manual laborer with an evidently irresistible compulsion, unable to stop himself and crying out for someone to stop him, displacing everything he felt onto law enforcement in hopes that it would make it go away.

They were on the plane a mere three hours after the kid was taken into custody, and when Reid got up to play a game of chess with Rossi she knew it was only a matter of time before Garcia and Morgan would swoop down on her. As expected, the tech and her fellow agent took a seat on either side of her.

"So, you going to share with us?" Garcia questioned.

Emily looked between the pair of them with a bemused smile on her face. "Do I have a choice?"

"Not really," she said with a sunny smile.

"It's obvious that something has changed between you and Hotch, Em. We're just curious what went down since we left you in England," Derek told her.

She sighed. "I know. I'm honestly surprised JJ didn't say anything."

Garcia shook her head. "Why would JJ say something?"

"Maybe its best if we start at the beginning." Emily quietly took them through everything, not wanting to be overheard; from the phone call in London, through the romantic scene she came home to, and the dates they'd had since she got home. Though Morgan seemed to have to resist the urge to punch something when she told them about Hotch's assumptions during that phone call, they both listened quietly and attentively.

"I'm with JJ," Garcia said quietly when Emily finished. "It's a little weird figuring out that your boss may be the most romantic man on the planet."

"And you're okay?" Derek asked. "Really okay?"

She knew he was worried, and Emily could understand why. "I really am, honestly. My biggest fear coming home was that we wouldn't work together. I was terrified that it wouldn't work out, and Hotch knew it. What he did for me that was incredibly romantic, but what he's said to me since, what he's done, is what's really made me realize that we could actually make this work."

"Good," he said with a nod. "That's all I needed to hear."

"So how's the sex?" Garcia questioned.

Derek pulled a face. "That's just too much information, Mama."

The two of them were still laughing when he took a seat with the three other very confused men on the plane. "You did that on purpose," Emily said, still grinning.

"I did, but mostly because I really am curious."

Her expression softened, and if Garcia had any doubt about the way that her friend felt it was gone when she saw that look in her eyes; she was completely gone, head over heels in love. "He's still going at my pace. I just wish I knew a way to tell him that my pace overran the one we're at a few yards back."

"Are you sure you want to go there so quickly?"

"Well how quick is it, really?" she asked. "Honestly it's not like we haven't been there before, and the reason we haven't gone there again is because he didn't want to push me. But it really wouldn't be pushing me. I want him, Garcia, just like I always have."

She smiled. "Then just tell him. If he sees that look in your eyes like I do now he'll get it for sure."

"I hope you're right."

The plane landed a couple of hours later, and when it did they were all glad to get home and get some sleep. For once they didn't have a case lined up waiting for them, and the next night after they were both rested Emily and Hotch had dinner again. This time they threw something together at his place.

After dinner they curled up on the couch, actually watching the movie this time; well, most of it anyway. And when the credits rolled she tried to work up the courage to do what Garcia had suggested. They had been sitting in comfortable silence for a few minutes when she finally did.

"Aaron?"

"Hmm?" he murmured quietly, evidently starting to drift off.

With a soft smile, she propped herself up a bit so she could see him. His dark eyes were just a bit blurry and she found it entirely endearing. "Remember how you said we would take this at my speed?"

"Yes."

"Well my speed has sped up, and it wants you."

Those dark blurry eyes cleared immediately, focusing in on her face. "Wants"

She shook her head. "Absolutely."

"Emily." He sat them both up. "I want you to be absolutely sure about this. I promised you that we wouldn't take this too fast, and that we would figure things out."

"I already know that we work together, Aaron. My biggest worry was that we wouldn't, and I know now that we do. I'm not worried about this being just sex, because in a couple weeks we already have so much more than that." She took his hand. "I want you, and unless something has seriously changed and I've missed it, you want me too."

Hotch nodded. "I do want you, but you have to be sure."

She took a shaky breath. "I don't think I've ever been more sure about anything in my life."

He didn't need to ask again, because just as Garcia had predicted, he could see everything in Emily's eyes. With a gentle smile, he bent to bring his mouth to hers. It wasn't long before the kiss burned from gentle to passionate, and before they both lost control, Hotch pulled back.

"I'm going to make love to you, Emily," he told her, watching her eyes go dark. "Not up against a wall or on a desk, but really make love to you."

They stood together, making their way silently to the bedroom; and when they stood their together she stepped into the circle of his arms and kissing him sweetly, her mouth leaving his to trail up to his ear and whisper, "Show me."


	6. Chapter 6

Note From The Author-- We've come to the final chapter, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so so much for sticking with me, and I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it. We end on a fluffy note

When Emily woke to find herself alone in bed she couldn't suppress a frown. Then she heard something which sounded suspiciously like humming coming from the general direction of the kitchen and she broke into a grin. After allowing herself the luxury of a good long stretch she rummaged in the drawers for a pair of boxers and threw on Hotch's discarded shirt before heading to find him.

The sight which greeted her in the kitchen was pretty magnificent by any standards. It was a rare treat to see Aaron Hotchner completely unguarded, after all; and seeing him standing there, clad in nothing but jeans definitely qualified as unguarded. His feet made little noise as he moved around, but the adorably off-key humming filled the air rather well. The entire scene was so ridiculously endearing that Emily actually giggled, and Hotch turned to face her.

"Hey," he said, sounding a bit sheepish. "I didn't know you were up."

She couldn't help but smile as she leaned against the counter. "I was enjoying the view, and Aaron Hotchner I do believe you're blushing."

And he was, just the tiniest bit. "I'm not accustomed to being caught, and there's a reason I don't usually hum," he told her with a smile.

"I find it completely fantastic, no matter how terrible you are." She walked across the kitchen to loop her arms around his neck. "What are you up to?"

"Snack time," Aaron told her with a smile.

Emily flashed him a grin before planting a firm kiss on his mouth. "My hero; I'm starving."

He chuckled. "Well let's get you fed then."

They ended up in bed with a bowl of grapes, a sleeve of Ritz crackers and a box of Captain Crunch. "You've got to start buying adult food too," Emily said with a smile, popping a grape in her mouth.

"Well the Captain Crunch is mine," Aaron said quite seriously, only cracking a smile when she burst into laughter. "Okay, so maybe it's Jack's."

"Well either way it's fabulous. I was famished."

He steeled back in against the pillows and watched as she picked her way through the bowl, evidently looking for the perfect piece of fruit. Then it hit him suddenly, right between the eyes, and his mouth was open before he could have another thought. "Emily?"

"Yes?" she questioned with a gentle smile.

"Dave asked me something a few weeks ago, and at the time I really wasn't sure how to answer him."

"Okay," she said, really not sure where he was going with this. "And you know now?"

Hotch sat up again, leaning a bit towards her. "I do, yes."

There was a pause, and after swearing she could hear a cricket chirp, Emily finally broke the silence. "So, what's the answer?"

"You're it for me Emily."

The breath stole from her body and she pressed her hand to the heart that was going wild in her chest. "I'm?"

He nodded. "It. You're the one. I wanted you for a long time, and when you got shot that day I felt all of these strong emotions that scared the hell out of me. When Rossi asked me that question I was still trying to deny it." She was still completely silent, and the way she silently watched him with huge eyes made him a bit nervous. Still, he pushed on. "I screwed everything up, and when you came home I was so amazed that you would even give me a chance; and now I realize how incredibly idiotic I was to deny it, because the moment I had you a part of me knew that I would never want to walk away again."

"I…" She trailed off as she felt tears well. "I was so in love with you and I never thought…"

"I know." Hotch reached out to her, his heart soaring when she came into his arms, sending snack food scattering. "I can't believe you gave me a second chance."

She shook her head against his chest. "I love you. I tried not to, but I just couldn't. Knowing that it isn't just me…" Tears took over. "Why the hell am I crying?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "Cry all you want, it's a bit of a huge thing."

They leaned back against the pillows, wrapped in each others' arms. "Huge would be a good word."

"So let me do this right. I love you Emily."

"I love you too," she said with a smile that practically lit up the room. Then she looked around them at the remnants of their snack strewn across the bed. "But I think we owe Jack some Captain Crunch."


End file.
